Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Out Walking

As someone who is out and about a lot on bike or foot, I am often nearly run over by idiot drivers. I was annoyed this morning to see police officers in two squad cars stopped in a crosswalk. They were just sitting with their idling cars as they chatted.

A girl running with her dog had to go around them. A man riding bike had to go around them. As I walked closer with my dog, I was planning to tell them to take their conversation elsewhere so they wouldn't continue to be examples of idiot drivers themselves. But as I got closer, they must've read my mind for they moved to another area of the parking lot before I said anything.

That's right coppers, move it along.

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Unblogged Blogs

Remember when you could hit "next blog" and it actually brought you to someone's blog? It might have been in a foreign language, but it was someone's blog. I've only had this weblog for a year, but I remember back when I first created this I would hit "next blog" and read other blogs. Now I'm more likely to be brought to a page of advertising for realtors or vacations or investments or some other boring, not-really-blog thing.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

What Time Is It When an Elephant Sits on Your Flowers?

I am not the best gardener. My thumbs are far from green, but I have tried my luck growing flowers again this summer.

I have faithfully watered my flowers everyday, and even twice on the really hot days if I was home. The flowers aren't exactly flourishing, but they're okay. Well, most of them are okay.

I have 6 pots of flowers, each with a few different kinds of flowers. Of course, I purchased them. I wouldn't know what to put together to make them look nice. One of the pots looks like an elephant sat on it.

My nephew Scream decided he needed to have his bike on the sidewalk next to the flowers. I told him to stay on the driveway, and in the process of turning the bike around and going back to the driveway, the bike and Scream fell on one of the pots. This particular pot had a very tall flower growing in the center. Now there is a stub where it used to be. Nice.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Fat and Cranky

While waiting in line for Cool Treats at DQ yesterday, a very large woman came in. She complained that she had just ordered a blizzard in the drive-thru and was given a different kind than what she ordered.

Sometimes people make mistakes. It's no fun to be on the end receiving the mistake, but it's not going to make the world spin backwards, reversing time like Superman and erase the mistake by being all pissy about it. This woman was all cranky at the guy behind the counter. Hmm, if he's behind the counter, he's not the guy making the blizzards, so he's not the guy who made the wrong blizzard.

Besides thinking that she was being cranky when she could've explained the same information with a nice attitude and gotten the same result of a new, correct blizzard, I couldn't help thinking that being so very large she really didn't need a blizzard anyway - let alone need one so much she hadn't to get pissy when it was the wrong kind.

I guess I have to admit I am prejudice against people who are very large sometimes. It drove me nuts in Disneyworld to see all the insanely obese people riding around on Disneyland-provided larks. Not only did they get a free ride around the park, saving them from expending those precious calories, but they, and all the friends and family with them, also got to go to the front of the line...because they're handicapped.

It just didn't seem fair that my family had to wait in line just because we could fit through the queue. Perhaps the insanely obese person could get on the ride from the handicapped access point, but they and they're posse could still wait their turn like everyone else. Couldn't their family wait in the queue with all the other people and they wait at the handicapped access until their family's turn came up? Seems fair to me.

But these extremely obese people didn't get to be so large by being patient. When it's Monday, I eat Monday's supper. But in order to get to be so huge, these people must being eating Monday's supper, and then can't wait for Tuesday to come and so they eat Tuesday's supper on Monday, too...and Wednesay's and Thursday's and Friday's...

So, the moral of the story is:If you're very large and your order is wrong at a restaurant, use your best manners and your best patience to get it straightened out. Otherwise someone in the restaurant will be afraid that if you don't get your food, they might be eaten.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

Trapped

I'm okay with the dog napping with me. It's especially nice in the cold weather to have his warm little body. What I don't like is when he lays on top of the blanket and traps me. This morning he did just that.

He knows he can't sleep with us at night, but often he'll come lay with us once it's morning. Then it's not sleeping with us, but napping because we should be up. This morning he jumped on the bed and got himself all cozy - right next to me. No, right next to me. Big ol' bed, lots of empty space, but he laid as close as he could.

He lays so close it makes the blankets feel tight around me. It makes me feel trapped. I'm not a claustrophobic person, but I don't like the feeling of the blankets being so close around me.

I tried a couple tricks with Naughty Dog this morning. Once I realized he was trying to trap me, I leaned into him a little. Once he laid down and thought he had me trapped, I just rolled back to where I was in the first place and got myself untrapped. Ha! Take that!

Nope, after about fifteen seconds he realized I had too much freedom in movement and got up to try to trap me again. I tried the lean in trick another time or two and he just readjusted each time.

Then I decided to be a little pushy about keeping my space. I just lifted the blankets up enough to make him roll back to another part of the bed. Just like before, he'd just get up after a little bit and try to trap me all over again.

I wasn't really sleeping, but just laying awake and resting because I didn't have to get up for a while. It would've been a much more relaxing time if I didn't have to try to play keep-from-getting-trapped with the dog.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

What a turd!

Yesterday I came home from the gym as usual, but found little tufts of cotton stuffing strewn about the upstairs...this was not usual. I thought Cute Little Dog had probably scratched open a pillow or found a stuffed toy to demolish.Wrong, Naughty Little Sucker had scratched at the comforter on our bed until it was sliced open. The many wads of cotton were from inside the comforter.

What a turd! I just repainted our bedroom a mere few months ago, all in colors around the colors in the comforter - hours and hours and hours of painting the walls, a second color on the walls, painting the furniture three different colors. What a Turd! (Notice that's a turd with a capital t.)

If he were a kid, I could scold him and tell him he was buying the us a new comforter. My only compensation was watching him try to poop this morning. Ha ha, sucker! The cotton I found on the floor was the cotton he had chosen not to eat. He squatted and got out his first log, but then there was a bunch of cotton stuffing. And the cotton stuffing was giving him quite a hard time. Ha ha! At least in the end, his own little turd was giving my Little Turd a tough time just as he had given me a tough time.

Maybe that'll learn him not to eat our bedding. (I'm clearly delusional if I think that's the case.)

Sunday, February 13, 2005

Oh Brother

I just heard a commercial on the radio for a segment that will be on the news. I could now begin my ranting about commercials for the news, but I'll save that for another blog.

This commercial was for a segment that would compare the results of botox and over-the-counter wrinkle creams, in hopes of finally answering the big question plaguing the world today: How best can one fight wrinkles?

Wow, that's some hard-hitting journalism. Watch out, Woodward and Bernstien.